The Search

I haven't posted in a while because i have been on a trip around Oregon looking at colleges. As I looked at college I realized I can't wait to go, but I am scared as hell to go. I went to see Oregon State University first. This school is huge! It has over 30,000 students and covers nearly 500 acres of land (which is a lot).The campus is magnificent, it is one of the prettiest schools I have seen. The next school I went to see was the University of Oregon. This school is very similar to Oregon State except the campus is smaller. The I realized why I am so scared of college. Cities scared the shit out of me! I am from a tiny town where i know everyone. Being somewhere where it takes as long to get across the city as it does to get across my county scares me. I guess I have come (and not for the first time) to the conclusion that my small town life has left me almost crippled to the outside world. Other than that I can't wait to go to college. And overcoming adversity is what it's all about right? So I'll keep tryin' to survive high school, then Nut Up and go live in a city (more than 20,000 people, at least in my eyes). College where my insecurities and biases will change, hopefully for the better.

Epic Fail

So I was diagnosed with sports induced asthma a while ago. Well, the medicine didn't work and I went on surviving feeling exhausted after every time I exercised. A few weeks ago I went to a lung specialist to see what was up. She right off the bat ruled out asthma. Great months after I was diagnosed I was going to be re-diagnosed. If only it were that simple. She sent me to get test after test and every time there was a lead on something, it was dashed to pieces after another test was done. Finally, when I saw her she had no idea what was wrong with me. What was the next step? FUCK! the doctor didn't even know. I mean I'm not dying or anything but running is very difficult and any exercise throws me into a spasm of pain. The medical field has no idea what to do next. Their tests showed nothing so they in turn can't do shit. AWWWWWWWWWWWW! It just amazes me that there seems to be no fix. This is bullshit and I am scared and frustrated, and amazed that someone can pay soo much for absolutely no answers.

So It Begins

This morning I woke up at 5:30 did my chores and left for baseball practice. My addiction to baseball has been ingrained in me since before I can remember. My first baseball game was on a saturday the spring after I turned five. My game was that afternoon, but I was so excited that I got dressed in my baseball uniform in the morning. Then, went to our couch and sat down. My mom then came and asked me what I was doing. I replied "I'm waiting for dad to pick me up for my baseball game," and that is pretty much what I did. I didn't leave that room except for lunch until my dad came to get me. If this doesn't show my obsession with baseball I really don't know what will. I think baseball is one one of the few things that helps me survive high school at all.

Just FYI there will probably quite a few more posts on baseball in the future.

Technicality

Today I went to a school function in which a friend and I submitted a website as a project. Well, we didn't win, but we did manage to get disqualified. How you ask? well we submitted our website using adobe dreamweaver. We did not however, get an FTP client or a host to get the website actually up and running. We just coded the site. It says nothing in the rule book about getting the site all the way to the web. According to the judges it was "a given" rule. That is complete BULLSHIT! This competition is so high and mighty they think they can make a rule a "given"? The judges even told us we would have advanced our project had we had it up and running. Getting a website up costs money, i am a high schooler with an 8 dollar an hour summer job. They think I can afford to pay for some bullshit competition? Screw Them! Here are my grievances:

1. It wasn't in the rule book
2. They judged it four days ago (I wasted a whole day)
3. They could have told us in advance
4. Patronizing us as if we should have know

So you know wat? Screw them, if conforming to the society of today means to have to put up with the upper class bullshit, then its not worth it. I'll become a hermit and show those bitches whats up!

Ok, sorry this is a shitty piece of writing, but I just needed to rant and rave about this. again my apologies.

Music to My Life

So, I was sitting at my computer thinking of something interesting to say, well nothing seemed to come to mind. I turned on ITunes and stared blankly at my library of songs. I scrolled up and down several times before settling on a song. This song "Artsy" by The Grouch has a deep meaning for me. Let me give you a little background. I live in rural colorado where you are either a coal mining hippie hatting redneck, or a pot smoking war protesting tree hugging hippie. As for me, well im one of the oh so small population of tweeners. In other words I am neither of the other two partys. So back to this song i briefly mentioned, basically it says "don't preach" whether you are of the christian right or the alter ego hippie. I find this view quite refreshing, because I will admit one of my pet peeves is being told wat I do is wrong or right for that matter. Just live and let live. So, I guess the point is there are two opposite but equal sides. In this song The Grouch talks about how just because you act the part doesn't mean you are as righteous as you say. Let real ideals and principles dictate how your life is run. I can't lie when a hippie comes up to tell me to be better to the world, and have peace on Earth I have the sudden urge to get in a fight and litter, and when a christian comes and tells me God loves me, or redneck tells me how Obama is ruining this country I just want to put an Obama sign in my yard and throw the bird towards the sky.

My car

This past friday I had quite the experience with my 1995 Ford Windstar (my friends call it the "man van"). So, when I got to school I was told I had a flat, no big deal right? Anyway, my friend Cody and I went to go fix it near the end of the day. So, we had no problem finding the jack or the tire iron, and we began to remove the tire with no problem. As we came close to taking the tire off we decided to take a look at my spare. Well, lucky for me it was flat, but it wasn't just flat. It had a piece of rebar about 8 inches long protruding from it. So, obviously we couldn't change the tire. So, I called my mom and had her bring down the other car with the same size tires (I thought this was quite clever). Cody and I then had no problem changing the tire and putting the spare from the other car onto the my car (maurice). Well, as I was about to leave my day got even better. I put the key into maurice's ignition. The engine turned over but just wouldn't fire. Maurice just would not start, he would rumble then fail every time. So, wat are the first words that come to a teenager's mouth? "STUPID GOD DAMN PIECE OF SHIT." I just could not catch a break. So, Maurice would sadly have to stay in my school's parking lot for the night. Well, the next day it got towed and taken to the shop. The reason for my beloved minivan not to start? When I had taken the jack out of its hold I hit a certain button. The inertia switch as it is called cuts off the flow of gas to the engine when the car is hit. This is to keep it from going boom. well it can also be manually switched on and off. So, the first words to come out of a teenager's mouth? WELL SON OF A BITCH! Well at least the car is fixed.

The Beginning

I go to a small rural high school in which our football and wrestling teams are the jewel of the community. My freshman year I was quite into school spirt and pride (now I must say I am quite lacking in). I was active in three sports and seemed to fitting in well. No I didn't play football, because i was... well quite small and skinny. So, I ran cross country. I was soon injured because I wasn't really ready to run tat much, but i had a great coach. He made me feel quite a part of the team still. This was quite uplifting. Soon Basketball started and the freshman team i must say... was better than the JV. I'm only bragging a little. Now as baseball (my passion) began I felt part of something (proverbial program I guess). I had a great time and that remains just about the only sport I truly like to play. I guess I used sports to cover up any social problems I was feeling. Which now I realize were a big part of that first and second year of High School. During my Sophomore year I started to lose my school spirt and a startling rate. By the end of the year the only pride I had was that our baseball team was badass. I wish I could enjoy high school like so many other students do, but i just feel like I'm ready to move on. As a junior I have been told that I act like a senior. Which apparently is a bad thing. I mean wanting to get out of a shitty high school ASAP is a bad thing. See I have to call a bullshit on that one. So here I will chronicle my hardship and happiness through the rest of high school. I would like to here from people who had to cope with this too. So basically everybody. So, please follow me and the Survival of my high school years.